26 December, 2008


Anger is one of the most misunderstood and overused of human emotions. First, anger is a reaction to an inner emotion and not a planned action. Second, anger is easier to show: everyone gets angry. Third, the feelings
underlying the anger reaction make us feel vulnerable and weak; anger makes us feel, at least momentarily, strong and in control. Fourth, angry behaviors are learned over the life-span and therefore can be unlearned and replaced with healthier patterns of coping. Fifth, anger can be an immediate reaction to an isolated event or it can be a response after numerous events. To repress anger is unhealthy and yet to express it impulsively, as we so often do, may give momentary relief but inevitably will carry negative consequences. To alter our angry responses, we need to
understand from where it comes. There are a variety of factors that increase the probability of an anger reaction. First, if we have seen our parents get angry first and resolve an issue after, we are more likely to use the same approach. Thus, types of anger are learned. Second, if we are frustrated and feel stressed, we are more likely to react with anger. Third, if we are tired, we are more prone to react in an angry fashion. Fourth, if we tend to hold our feelings inside rather than talk them out, we are more likely to have an angry outburst as the pressure increase much like a pressure cooker.

Styles of Anger

Each of us develops their own special style of anger:
The “Mad Hatter” Driver: This person yells, curses, and offers gestures to other drivers when s/he is in a hurry and frustrated.
The Sulkers: This person shuts down in a chair and stops speaking and looking at others.
Safe Haven Abuser: This person takes her/his frustration out only on the ones s/he loves.
The Distracter : This person disregards the object of his annoyance by reading the paper, forgetting to run an errand, or playing the radio too loudly. When s/he is confronted, the response is: I didn’t know; I forgot; I’m tired.
The Blamer: This person blames everybody for everything and rarely accepts responsibility for his own short comings.
The Avenger: This person believes s/he has been given the right to seek vengeance in any way for anything by using the excuse: they deserved it.

Anger Check List — How Is Your Anger? Check off each selection that applies to you.

* People tell you that you need to calm down.
* You feel tense much of the time.
* At work, you find yourself not saying what is on your mind.
* When you are upset, you try to block the world out by watching TV, reading a book or magazine, or going to sleep.
* You have trouble going to sleep.
* You feel misunderstood or not listened to much of the time.
* People ask you not to yell or curse so much.
* Your loved ones keep saying that you are hurting them.
* Friends do not seek you out as much.

Scoring: add up your selections and see how you did.

0 - 2 MANAGEABLE you could benefit from relaxation training
3 - 5 MODERATE you need to learn more about what stresses you, and learn stress management techniques .
6 + OUT OF CONTROL you have an anger problem that could benefit from learning anger management techniques


Anger reactions have been likened to a train running out of control and about to derail. A little anger can motivate us to take action in positive ways. A lot of anger will make us red with rage. Anger that is out of control will drive away those whom we love the most and endanger our employment.

12 December, 2008

Happiness 'rubs off on others'

Happiness is infectious and can "ripple" through social groups, according to US researchers.

A study of 5,000 adults suggests a person's happiness is dependent on the happiness of those around them.
A friend who becomes happy and lives less than a mile away increases your likelihood of happiness by 25%, the British Medical Journal reported.
But the mood of work colleagues did not have an effect, the Harvard Medical School-led study found.
The researchers used data on adults who took part in the US Framingham Heart Study - set up to look at the risks leading to future heart disease - between 1971 and 2003.
Participants were asked to identify their relatives, close friends, place of residence, and place of work and were followed up every two to four years.

They were also asked whether they agreed with statements on whether they enjoyed life, felt hopeful about the future, were happy and felt they were just as good as other people.
It was found that live-in partners who become happy increased the likelihood of their partner being happy by 8% and similar effects were found for siblings living close by (14%) and neighbours (34%).
The relationship between people's happiness levels seemed to extend up to three degrees of separation - to the friend of a friend of a friend.


The analysis also showed that close physical proximity was important for the spread of happiness.

A person was 42% more likely to be happy if a friend who lives less than half a mile away becomes happy - an effect that declined with greater distance.
Study leader Professor Nicholas Christakis said the results suggest clusters of happiness occur because happiness spreads and not just because of a tendency for people to associate with similar individuals.
"Most important from our perspective is the recognition that people are embedded in social networks and that the health and wellbeing of one person affects the health and wellbeing of others."

Professor Andrew Steptoe, a psychology expert from University College London, said: "It makes intuitive sense that if people around you are happy that might have an impact on your own happiness.
"What's a bit more surprising is that it's not just the people who you closely come into contact with but people a step removed as well."
He said the work had implications for public health.
"Happiness does seem to be associated with protective effects on health.
"If happiness is indeed transmitted through social connections, it could indirectly contribute to social transmission of health," he said.

08 December, 2008

Iranian Police Officers' Eid Ul Adha

Millitant affiliated to a terrorist group known as " Jundu'llah " have reportedly executed all 13 Iranian Police Officers who were kidnapped in Jun . Jundu'llah have abducted the officers at the check point , south eastern city in Sarawan & transferred them to Pakistan . The armed group threatened to kill the hostages if Iranian government would fail to release all its 200 members in Iranian prisons .

Jundu'llah operates near Iranian borders with Pakistan . Millitants frequently attack Iranian civillians as well as hight profiles government & security officials .